The Quest Begins
A Work in Progress…
I must admit our urge to remain rolling stones on the road of life was difficult to explain to others especially when they asked where we lived. Initially I became quite adept at skirting the question feeling quite uncomfortable about living so unconventionally. We were always forced to survive as everywhere we went we had to land on our own two feet without any outside help or support. Many times we wished we could have our own home and stabilize but with no hope for credit and no family in which to back us we literally did the best we could with what we had.
Kindly, though, the years have allowed me to see the wisdom in it, realizing that our home is truly wherever we are. Not only do I find myself more comfortable in my own skin but also with the understanding that happiness and contentment are as much or more of an inside journey rather than the other way around. Similarly I at first felt awkward and embarrassed that the people and systems which I was once a part of and aspired to had cold-heartedly turned their back on me especially when I needed them the most. Having taken their rejections not only personally I was bewildered and deeply hurt by them. Believing and trusting that they would only have my best interests in mind. How wrong could my assumption be? For many years I tried to fit back in but each time I was expelled with greater force. The more I tried to acquiesce to their ways the more I suffered from their cold rebuke. This lesson has taken me many years I must admit but it is a lesson well learned.
Now John and I are comfortable living outside the inner circle. It is actually liberating and we wouldn’t feel comfortable any other way. There is something empowering and refreshing about being an underdog. As long as we are true to ourselves and do the right thing on our own terms what more could we ask of ourselves? These experiences and others like them have helped us cope with life’s daily challenges as we, like most, definitely still have our fair share of ups and downs. I once heard that our experiences and lessons come most often when we get what we don’t want. And I’m sure we can all relate to that… It just seems to be our way with life. Without being poked and prodded by it then we would be lulled into complacency.
Challenge and necessity are the precursors to change and growth and if we all had our druthers there would be little to nudge us along. Many times success is just surviving the jungle out there without going backwards and with little doubt life is becoming more demanding and stressful on a daily basis. Encircled by such a contrived and manufactured culture where the reality these days is pay more and get less as the one and only flavour of the day has left most of us frustrated and stretched beyond our means. John and I have found that being mindful and not getting too far ahead of ourselves nor spending too much time dwelling on the past keeps us quite happy and much more able to handle the constant distractions and daily demands we all now face. I can’t count the number of times our childlike sense of wonder and humour along with plenty of physical activities have literally saved us from our own nuclear meltdowns!
The past decade or so we still have faced many struggles together. A couple of times we were down and out barely managing to survive despite our hard efforts I can vividly recall John and I were sitting across from each other , most ironically, in the coffee shop of the World Trade Center in silent tears having just lost all our investment in a sports memorabilia business . We had put all our marbles into limited edition prints that we had placed on show there and the auction was a disaster. Luckily we sold one print on the road which gave us just enough money to barely make it home. We moved into a small basement rec room with a pull out bed and started all over again… It was like Carmel California repeating itself; you just do what you have to do…
There have also been times when I have felt so hopeless and despondent that all I can ask of myself is to just take another step. Just one step, and then another… and then one day turns into another and the dark clouds seem to lighten and once again you catch glimpses of the blue sky hidden behind them.